No person near me is way worse than no money
No person near me is way worse than no money:
“You should take care of your spouse as you do to your children”
Today, I want to talk about my generation.
My generation is usually described as the so-called ‘386 generation.’ This generation was born in the 1960s and attended college in the 1980s. They led the student movements and suffered from democratic struggles. They were the important parts of that era, and yet, they are now faced changes and trials. “They” are the people in their fifties of this society.
The friend that I met today, feeling small, talked to me that “it is so empty” many times. He was the first child among four brothers and sisters. He took and lived with the burden of the family for more than fifty years as the first son. He married and lived with his parents and three siblings. Now he is still taking care of the widowed mother. He recently had a son-in-law since he married relatively early when he was young.
“I spent a lot of money for her wedding, but you know what? She did not even bring me any gift after the honeymoon. She said “busy and no time!”
“She enjoyed the trip, that’s it. Why do you necessarily talk about gift?”
“I am saying that she did not even think about me! She was so nice to me when she had to ask me something…”
He was barely getting by, so he even took out a mortgage on his house for his daughter’s marriage.
“You were supposed to take care of yourself. Do you want to pay your debt until you die?”
“What was I supposed to do then? She would blame me forever for not being able to support her.”
“Would they take care of you when you get old? Parents need to find a way to survive!”
“Do you think those young people would understand?”
People in their fifties are often called “the last generation to serve their parents and the first generation not to be served by their children.” We have been taught to be devoted to our parents and, of course, should take care of them. And yet our children have no such concept. They think only about themselves. Some people even say, “if there is a war, we will have to go to war instead of our children.”
Parents raised their children, and their children later took care of their parents. That was how we lived as parents and children. But by our generation, this tradition had been completely disappeared. That’s why people in their fifties are a generation of transition. After spending energy to serve our parents and pouring everything for our children, now there is nothing left for us. We could not be ready for our future at all, but now we should live the rest of our life (and why do we live unnecessarily longer than before?!).
We are still working and would get by anyway. But after 10-20 years when we have to be in the wilderness without anything that would protect us, I don’t know how we can manage everything. For the “386 generation,” such uncertainty about the future is a “time bomb.” We don’t know anything now. We can know what would happen to us only when it actually happens to us.
My point is, in this kind of situation, the person you can trust is your spouse. Without a spouse, it gets really hard when the bomb goes off. That is the point of marriage. It’s more lonely when you don’t have someone near you, rather than you don’t have money. The one who would stay next to you when you get sick later is not your child. It is your spouse. You should remember this: you should take care of your spouse as you do to your children.
What our generation, who cannot be even served by our children, need to do is to take good care of our health and prepare our future from now. This was the conclusion when I encouraged my poor friend.
♥
Since 1991, 선우의 혁신
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