웨딩 칼럼

20년 전 25세 남성이 있었습니다.
저랑 동갑이어서 더 관심이 가는 사람이었습니다. 예술을 하는 섬세하고 멋진 그 남성에게 만나는 여성들은 대부분 호감을 보였지만, 그는 느낌이 오지 않는다며 다 거절을 하더군요. 그 후 10여년 동안 그와 연락하면서 여러차례 만남을 주선했지만, 그의 느낌타령, 외모타령은 계속 되었습니다.

얼마 전 45세가 된 그가 저를 찾아왔습니다. 세월은 그 빛나던 용모를 가져가 버렸고, 이제는 배 나오고 머리도 벗겨진 중년의 아저씨가 되어있는 그는 아직도 싱글이었습니다. 그런데도 여전히 자신의 이성상을 포기하지 못하고 '느낌’이라는 말을 했습니다.

그날 저는 그의 결혼을 위해 구원투수가 되어주겠다는 마음을 접었습니다. 왜냐? 느낌 운운하는 45세의 남성이 결혼할 가능성은 희박하기 때문이지요.

남성들이 나이 들수록 결혼하기 힘든 이유는 경제적인 부분도 있지만, 느낌이나 외모를 많기 보기 때문입니다. 나이가 들면 본인이 만날 수 있는 여성의 범위가 점점 줄어드는데도 그런 현실올 인정하지 않습니다. 나이보다 훨씬 젊어보인다거나 경제력이 있다는 등으로 미련을 버리지 않으려고 하지요.

남성의 나이가 많아지면 그만큼 외모의 비중을 줄여야 합니다. 실제로 많은 남성들이 그렇게 해서 결혼을 합니다. 제 말이 믿기지 않는다면 증거를 보여드리지요.

남성의 결혼연령과 그 배우자의 외모와의 상관관계에 대한 분석자료가 있습니다.
최근 10년 동안 결혼한 3,291쌍을 대상으로 29-38세의 남성들과 결혼한 여성들의 인상, 키 등의 신체매력을 지수화해보니 흥미로운 결과가 나왔습니다.

남성 연령대별로 배우자인 여성들의 신체매력지수를 보면 30세 81.77, 33세 81.11, 37세 79.71로 남성 연령이 높아질수록 배우자의 신체매력지수가 낮아지고 있음을 알 수 있습니다. 남성이 나이가 들수록 외모가 떨어지는 여성들과 결혼한다는 것이 아니라 남성들이 배우자의 외모에 대해 느끼는 매력도가 낮아진다는 것입니다. 이런 결과는 무엇을 의미할까요? 결혼연령이 높아질수록 남성은 배우자를 선택할 때 외모적인 부분을 덜 본다는 것입니다.

이번 분석결과는 남성들에게 중요한 메시지를 던져줍니다.

첫째, 느낌이나 외모를 많이 본다면 29세 이전에 결혼하라는 것입니다. 29세에 82.11였던 배우자의 신체매력지수는 30세에 81.77로 1살만 줄어들어도 많이 낮아집니다. 배우자의 신체매력지수를 기준으로 남성의 결혼연령을 보면 배우자의 외모에 대해 가장 만족하는 때가 29세라는 것입니다.

둘째, 요즘 여성들은 나이차가 적은 결혼을 선호합니다. 단순히 아저씨가 싫다는 것이 아니라 다양한 매체를 통해 연하남도 자연스럽게 받아들이게 된데다가 남성이 나이가 많을수록 그만큼 사회활동 기간도 줄어들어 생활이 불안정할 수 있다는 현실적인 이유도 있습니다. 그래서 아무리 젊어보인다고 해도 실제 나이가 많으면 여성들은 잘 만나주지 않습니다.

셋째, 여성도 남성의 외적인 매력을 중요하게 생각합니다. 중후한 연령에서 오는 남성의 매력도 있지만, 젊은 남성의 매력이 아무래도 더 쉽게 어필할 겁니다. 외모가 좋아 인기가 높은 여성이라면 비슷한 조건을 가진 남성들 중에 더 젊고 매력 있는 외모의 남성을 선택하는 건 당연한 일 아닐까요.

미인을 만나고 싶은 남성들은 결혼을 일찍하는 것이 정답입니다.

I happened to know a certain 25 year old man around 20 years ago. He was like one of my peers, and thus I was interested in him much.  He was a delicate artist, and most women who dated him liked him. He did not, however, like those women saying that he did not have a liking toward them. I have introduced him women around 10 years afterwards but his attitude was inveterate.

He visited me days ago. He was still single but his youthfulness evaporated already. He was bold and potbellied. Notwithstanding his changed figure, he was daydreaming and still talking of physical attractiveness.  I gave up trying to help him on that day because the possibility of finding a woman of his liking may be almost over.

As men get old, the success rate of marriage also gets reduced because their financial capacity gets reduced as well as they get more interested in outward appearance or liking.  They do not admit that their marriage market gets smaller as they get old. They may become obstinate saying that they have financial capacity or they look much younger than their age.

Old men need have flexibility regarding outward appearance. In fact many men marry by not being tenacious of outward appearance. There are several facts regarding this point. There are analysis data between the men’s age and their women partner’s outward appearance.

A survey data of 3291 spouses of 29-38 year old men’s age group regarding the physical attractiveness such as height and outward appearance show quite interesting results. As men get old, the index of the physical attractiveness of their spouses decreases. For example, the index for 30 year old men is 81.77, for 33 year old men 81.11, and for 37 year old men 79.71. The data do not show that, as men get old, men do marry physically less attractive women but do show that the men’s feeling of the importance of the physical attractiveness of spouses decreases.

If you are a man and think that your partner’s outward appearance is important, you need marry before reaching 29 years. The analysis gives men very important messages.

First, men need marry before reaching 29 years if they want spouse’s physical attractiveness or feeling. The index of physical attractiveness drops from 82.11 at the age group of 29 years to 81.77 at the age group of 30 years.   If we regard the physical attractiveness as a criterion, men feel the highest satisfaction on their spouse’s physical attractiveness when they are 29 years old.

Second, the current trend is that the women prefer men of lesser age difference. This does not necessarily mean that women do not like old men. Nowadays women are exposed to mass media enough to marry men younger than they are.  Besides, when men get old, their remaining period of economic activity gets shorter. This can be a potential cause of financial difficulties that women may face sometime shortly. Thus women may not be attracted to old men even though they look young physically.

Third, women also think that men’s physical attractiveness is very important.  Young men’s pulchritude may appeal more to women than the old men’s dignified attitude does.  Isn’t it natural that a woman of adoration for her beauty seeks a man of youthfulness among his peers?

If you want a beauty, it is a MUST that YOU MARRY EARLY!   

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